Saw this over at our friend Erin’s blog - she gave us permission to reprint!
You: Oh my soul, look at your face! Divinity!
Friend: Ewwww I am a hideous beast.
What you may be thinking v. 1: Are you calling me a liar?
What you may be thinking v. 2: Time to begrudgingly shell out some compliments to make this poor sap feel better, ugh.
What you may be thinking v. 3: That’s the last time I compliment you.
What you may be thinking v. 4: I am currently experiencing feelings of resentment.
Stop denying what other people see in you. You don’t have to agree but don’t be an asshole. Let people have their opinions. Practice these words: Thank you. I appreciate that. So nice of you to say. That’s really sweet. If you honestly believe you can’t muster the words, cut the theatrics – those are better reserved for another time! You have obviously told a lie or two in your life and probably with ease at times. This is no different :)
Moreover, it is obviously not kind to yourself to reject caring words. Think for a moment about how awful that is :( Let yourself receive the gift of positivity. Tuck the sentiment into your heart and retrieve it readily. How can you not be joyful when someone sees the good in you? That is a beautiful thing. Love and respect for yourself is an absolutely crucial component of your health. It brings radiance and peace and makes it possible for you to give that (genuinely) to others.
I think this is challenging for me just culturally since I learned how to accept compliments from my Taiwanese American parents and that the best way to do so was self effacingly. I tend to forget and slip into minimizing and put downs of myself rather than just saying thank you. This used to confuse a white high school teacher of men who thought I was just being humble.